Chi's Pen

Do you have a person or thing in your life that encourages or pushes you when you get down on yourself? My person was my cousin Lucy. When I tell you I felt like she could keep my mom off my back, I wanted her to be around all the time. It wasn’t just her but her sister Vernice as well. Those were my mom’s riders and it was fun watching them together seemed like every weekend. One summer Lucy went on vacation to Georgia (or that’s how I remember it) and she didn’t come back, I was crushed. How was I going to make it without her, who was going to keep my mom off my back when she started tripping? Yeah those were my teenage thoughts but many of them were real. When I finally accepted this wasn’t just a vacation and Lucy wasn’t coming back to Michigan, it seemed like everything changed in my little adolescent life.

When I went away to the military my motivation became not to return back to my mother’s house. I was determined to prove I could make a life for myself without her. It sounds pretty harsh on paper but it is my truth. Mom and I didn’t have the best mother daughter relationship but as I’ve gotten older I now understand why. When I became a mother to my own children they became my new motivation. There have been some dark times in my life and both of those guys were my motivation to change things. The changes didn’t always come quick nor were they the best but my guys were the motivation I needed.

I tell my guys all the time I am their #1 cheerleader. I want to root them on at whatever they decide to do. I may not agree or understand what they are doing but I am always going to be in the background cheering them on. Talking crazy every step of the way, trying to understand why they make the decisions they make but still understanding it’s their decisions. I do hope as they were growing into young men they saw my motivation and determination to make sure they had what they needed and they will be a motivation to their children.

Who or what is your motivation? Do you have someone or something that gives you that extra push you need to get things done or make things happen? What if someone thinks of or looks to you as their motivation to get the job done for themselves. Are your presenting your best self to others or are you just a shell of yourself.

Chi’s Pen