Chi's Pen

Here we are another Mother’s Day. In two days the world will be celebrating how much they love their mom and sending flowers, candy, dinners and gifts, while I will be dreading the day because 14 years ago I lost mine. It’s not that I don’t appreciate people celebrating their mom’s but I really wouldn’t be mad if this day was just removed from the calendar. I know pretty mean isn’t it, well if you haven’t lost your mom, you wouldn’t know the feeling. Some would say but you’re a mom, you’re being celebrated by your kids, this is true but again this isn’t a great day. Being celebrated and having someone to celebrate are two different things.

Mom and I didn’t have the kind of relationship I wanted or dreamed I would have if I had a daughter, but she was my girl. When we had fun we had fun! I can remember mom didn’t take any mess from ANYBODY but baby was she willing to dish it out to EVERYBODY.

My best friend and I sometimes talk about some of the things she did when we were younger and we laugh about how she didn’t seem like she was afraid of anything or anyone. Now she very well may have been but she never showed us if she was. There are so many vivid memories of my childhood when we had fun. She had us all in the car and we were going shopping when someone cut her off, do you know she chased that lady down in that car. That was the funniest thing to us as kids, she never caught the lady but just watching her act like she was going to catch her was fun. Seeing her get ready for her 40th birthday party in that black dress and how her “girls” were ready to party. Man I thought 40 was so old at the time and wondered would I ever get there.

Not everything was fun, there were some pretty dark times that I would love to erase but they are part of what has made me who I am today. Because I felt a certain way growing up I try my best to make sure I don’t repeat the same patterns to my kids. Even with all the not so great moments, I would love to have a few do overs, if it would just give me a little bit more time with her. I really wish she was here to see the great young men I was able to raise, as well as the beautiful great grands she now has.

I can hear you now Dianna fusing and cussing about what these people won’t get right so we can get back outside. Like she would always say “WELL HELL” if people did what they were supposed to do we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with. Mom was a trip but she was my mom.

To those of you who still have your mom to hold onto and love on please do it as often as you can. Once she’s gone, you can’t get her back to make up for those things you didn’t do, those words you said that you wish you didn’t say or even the one’s you wish you did say but kept putting it off because you thought you had time.

I wish you all a beautiful Mother’s Day.

Chi’s Pen